I believe an apology is in order.
I’m sorry I did not like you for the longest time. In fact, I’m still not entirely sure I do. I see and feel all this pressure to be perfect from literally everyone around me. Boys, magazine covers, my perfect sister, and my mother all serve as sources of motivation to look flawless. But I can’t be flawless, no matter how hard I have tried, and no matter how much money I have spent on this.
I’m sorry for how much pressure I have put on you. I’m sorry for all the hours I spent in the gym, for all the hours I spent running you in the ground, grasping for an identity I knew I was losing.
I’m sorry for hiding you with foundation and coverup, forcing you into hiding.
I’m sorry for the people I chose to hang around with because I was ashamed of you.
I’m sorry I didn’t protect you by saying no.
I’m sorry I didn’t value everything you do for me, and how healthy you are.
I promise to start treating you with respect, and kindness. To see you as you are…beautiful and flawed. I promise to love your flaws, because that’s what makes me me.