Dear She,

We have birthed children, having the stretch marks to show the map of how those children started to change us.  We have been fit, we have been flabby, we have been gym rats and bar rats and couch potatoes.  Through it all, never once have we looked in the mirror and LIKED what was there.  At 200 lbs, we were pregnant and disgusting.  (Knowing not everyone feels this way while pregnant and lamenting that we did, regardless of the wonderful life we were creating inside our womb).  At 100 lbs, oddly enough, we still looked in the mirror and saw every single bit of flab we had postpartum, despite being borderline anorexic.  I think what we need to realize is that no matter what, as long as we are relatively healthy, as long as we are here and functioning and taking an active role in the lives of our children – we are beautiful.  We might never be free of our insecurities, our occasional overwhelming self-loathing or our seemingly never ending fear of not being enough to be truly loved.  But we can work – every single day – to love who we are, knowing that even if we aren’t there every day, the journey might be enough to get there.  Because who knows?  Someday, we might.  And that is more than enough reason to keep trying.

Love, Me.

Age: 40